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Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Six Months Old Already

Today was Amelia's six month checkup. For the hardcore Amelia fans, here are the stats.

Height: 26.75 inches (90th percentile)
Weight: 21 lbs 9.5 oz (above the 95th percentile)
Head circumference: 17.25 inches (90th percentile)
Shots: one in her right thigh and one in her left thigh (she whine-cried for about five seconds, then promptly shut up once I picked her up)
Development: mostly pretty average, very good at interacting with people, very interested in surroundings... not at all interested in rolling over (she is, however, capable of doing so; I saw her do it once on Monday)
Comments from the pediatrician: "She is always so bright-eyed and intent!"


Diaper size: 4
Shirt size: 12 month (snug) to 2T (somewhat loose)
Pants size: 9 month
Sock size: 18-36 month
Cuteness factor: ludicrously cute


She will also be starting fluoride drops every day since there isn't any fluoride in the water here. And we like pearly white teeth around here.

Oh, and since the doctor's noticed Amelia wheezing on more than one occasion (as have we), we are trying an albuterol inhaler until Monday to see if it helps. The idea is to deal with the wheezing now before she'd need a steroid inhaler, because those have some not so pleasant side effects for kids. The wheezing is probably completely unrelated to Amelia's fussiness. I also asked it she was wheezing because she's so fat. The answer is no. Bum.

Speaking of which, I have to confess I like Amelia's naked baby bum. I always thought it was weird when my dad would tell my bum used to fit in his hand. But now I understand. Baby bums are cute.

Amelia has continued to be regularly fussy. For all of you who were telling me a month and a half ago that she's teething... there are no teeth in that little mouth of hers yet. And things that are supposed to numb the gums don't seem to help. Nor do any traditional teething pain remedies. Oh well.


I assume most, if not all, of you have been following Amelia's progress on Facebook. But in case you haven't been, she underwent a slew a tests, all of which were normal. Lots and lots of blood tests... some stool tests... and a head ultrasound.

So, the only thing left to try, I've decided, is chiropractic adjustment. (The idea is, a baby might get a pinched nerve during a traumatic birth or something. And I don't know if birth was traumatic for Amelia per se, but at the very least her entire head was a giant bruise when she came out. It's possible.) I'd been putting it off, because our insurance doesn't cover a lot of the chiropractors in town, including many of the ones that are good with babies.

But! One of our friends (who also has a baby about six months old) has a dad who is a chiropractor... and he'll adjust her weekly for free for anywhere from six weeks to three months. Also exciting for me? He just happens to be a preferred provider for our insurance, so I can get adjusted too. Woo!

The bad news... Dr. Clifton is fifty minutes away. I should remind you that Amelia has made her feelings about car rides abundantly clear: car rides are akin to torture.

Well, we made the journey on Monday. By the time we got there, I was a wreck. You try driving that long with a screaming baby. Now don't get lost or killed. I did take a wrong turn somewhere too. And, as if that wasn't stressful enough, somehow I ended up with a horn-happy truck behind me who'd honk angrily anytime I braked at all. Not exactly sure how I ticked the driver off so much, but clearly, I did.

We made it, and the chiropractor adjusted a few places for Amelia. Her legs now appear to be the same length, whereas it at first seemed her left leg was shorter.

My adjustment was much more of a process. They took an x-ray of my neck. It is bending the wrong way. "Wow. You DO need to be adjusted," was the doctor's comment. And so I was adjusted in about a gerjillion places. I am suddenly sleeping better, and I don't have any headaches or other aches. Magic. Yes, I  do indeed think there should be more chiropractic adjustments in my life.

I'm not sure what to tell you about how Amelia's been since her adjustment. Here are my observations, though. For one, she hasn't cried during any car rides. This is highly unusual. She has had some major crying spells, but besides one exception, those seemed to have obvious causes... like being really, really tired... or really, really bored. There has also been a slight increase in good naps. I was also surprised at how her shots today seemed to be no big deal. (A little deal, yes, but only worth crying about for a few seconds, apparently.)

So, at least for a little while, Amelia and I will be travelling to Lebanon every Monday to see the chiropractor. I'm pretty sure I'll at least benefit from it, even if Amelia doesn't. And she does seem to like the staff. While I was being adjusted, she perfectly happy "helping" the receptionists.

Anyway, I've also been wanting to do another "a day in the life" post, but I'm not sure I have enough time tonight. Instead, I guess, I'll write a letter to Amelia about what she is like now.

Dear Amelia,

I do believe you are developing a sense of humor... and the capacity to giggle. You think it's funny when I make exaggerated chewing sounds, and when I pretend to eat your belly. I don't think you're ticklish. You enjoy sticking your tongue out. Your favorite sounds to make are spit gurgles and raspberries.


One of my favorite things is your face first thing in the morning. Although I admit I dread when you open your eyes because I'd usually like to sleep another four or five hours, I find that my heart melts when I see you twist your head up to see if I'm awake yet. I usually pretend I'm still asleep. You wiggle and wiggle and wiggle impatiently. And when I finally open my eyes, you immediately flash your biggest grin.

I do my best to entertain you all day while dad is at school and while Auntie Beek is at work, but I think you get bored with me pretty quickly. I often find that when I am unable to console, your dad will waltz on in from a long day at work, and you will be just tickled pink to see him. You really like to play with dad. I sometimes think I must be boring.

But perhaps I'm not all that boring. I think you might be the most fun for me after you've gotten bored with dad in the evenings. I'll take you back, and you are all full of grins. This is the time of day when I am most likely to get some giggles out of you. Your giggles are the best, particularly after a long day of mostly just screams.

Sometimes at night you make it way too hot for a blanket. It's okay, though. You're a pretty good cuddle buddy. You somehow push both of us across the bed at least a foot during the night. I think this happens because I move over a few inches when you're done nursing in the night. And then I wake up to find you snug up against me, bobbing for nipples.

We are getting kind of good at communicating. You've gotten into the habit of leaving your mouth wide, wide open if you're hungry. Sometimes you will try to suck on my cheeks or my chin when you're hungry. Or sometimes, you try to latch on through my shirt. You are never successful.

Yesterday you sat up unsupported for nearly three minutes. You only sit up when you are in the mood to do so, though. It's fairly often that we will try to sit you up, but you lock your legs and refuse to do anything but stand. You also seem to enjoy being held upside down. Strange child.


You are terrified of the blender. Also the popcorn popper. You cling to me when those make noise. And, if you're asleep, you scream yourself awake like you just had a nightmare of mechanical horrors.

You do not like diapers. I caught you yesterday morning with your diaper half-off, and this morning I found you scratching at it. You much prefer to use the potty. I don't blame you. You also seem to dislike clothing. I have discovered that it is far easier and far less traumatic to wrap you in a blanket when going outside than to try and strap you into a sweater or coat.

You like going to storytime at the library. Not only do you enjoy the songs, I think you particularly like to watch all the toddlers be exciting. It also seems that, among strangers, kids are your biggest fans. Today while we were at the pharmacy, some little girls came up and told me how cute you were. They danced for you while I was preoccupied with the pharmacist. Just before that when I was strapping you in the shopping cart seat, a boy told me how cute you were. Then he told me all about what he was going to buy in the store.  At the doctors office, some other kids stared at you, then tugged on their parents' sleeves and pointed you out. Things like this happen all the time.

It seems you would really like to crawl, but so far you fail miserably at it. Instead, you do a kind of Army scoot... you dig your face into the ground, essentially smothering yourself, and then you push yourself forward a few inches with your feet. You don't roll over very much. I've only seen you do it once. I think you only did it because you were avoiding getting your eyes clawed out by another baby. (Your eyes are shiny, you know.) You particularly enjoy playing your feet.


You haven't started eating solid foods yet, although I suppose you are technically old enough now. Your only interest in food seems to be in watching us intently when we eat it... and I think you were determined to squish yourself some sweet, messy raspberries tonight. You are always very confused if we ever offer you any food to eat. You are definitely a mama's milk girl.

I love you lots, Amelia. I think you must be pretty smart, because you're always so intently studying everything. You are so studious. Sometimes I suspect you'll have everything figured out by the end of the week.


Love you forever and like you for always,
Mom

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Gorg

I'll bet that word wasn't in your vocabulary. Gorg is something one says when quite tired, but happy, but also impatient for a break, and even a hint of ice cream craving. Hrm.

Little Miss Amelia has not really given us (or me?) much of a break. About half of the time, she's either crying or we're desperately trying to distract her because she's on the verge of crying. It's great fun! I'm reasonably certain she is, indeed, teething. I think I might feel her two bottom front teeth just below the top of her gums... but then that could be wishful thinking, right? Possibly. But the fact remains: no teeth yet. And she's been fussy since about six weeks old and this last month has been pretty bad too.

The last week or so has been doubly awful. Tylenol is no longer magical. For some unexplained reason, she's been even fussier! Eep!

Well, I took her to the doctor Wednesday morning to verify that she doesn't have something else obvious going on in addition to teething... something like an ear infection, or appendicitis, or, or, or... cancer! Brain cancer. Yeah. Or an aneurysm.

Lest you think I'm seriously stressing about the possibility of some lethal disease, I should point out that I'm about 99.5% certain that she is just teething. I do appreciate having proof though. I like to be able to say, Yeah, I'm right. And then when someone says, Oh yeah? Prove it, I like to be able to prove it.

So yeah. Doctor visit. No ear infection. Completely normal physical exam. Of course Amelia was screaming inconsolably the entire time. It was exciting.

Dr. Pelinka said she wasn't sure enough (that Amelia is only teething or that she just has a difficult temperament) to just dismiss her fussiness. Why? Because she's been fussy so consistently for so long... and most fussy babies turn into sunny creatures by three and a half months. Amelia is five and a half months old. So the pediatrician sent me home saying she'll call later after talking to her colleagues about Amelia.

Well, I did get a call back and the consensus among the pediatricians is that Amelia is most likely perfectly healthy. But then, she might not be. So the plan? First, some stool studies. If Amelia's still fussy after a few more days, some blood studies. If those are normal and Amelia is still a banshee, brain ultrasound. Oh, and lucky mom should try going dairy-free for a few weeks.

Oh, gorg. I really, really like dairy. And worse, I've been eating quite a bit simply for convenience's sake. Now I had gone dairy-free for four or five days a few months ago. If anything, Amelia got fussier during those days. And then when I ate dairy again she had a great couple of days. That was good enough for me at the time, figuring that I could go all out a little later if needed.

So yeah. I'm going all-out dairy-free until just before Amelia's six-month checkup on the 20th. That way, before Amelia sees the doctor again, I'll also get to see what happens when I reintroduce cow milk.

We ended up needing the blood studies. Unfortunately, they needed lots of blood, so they decided to try getting it venously.

Oh, it was so awful. Apparently these phlebotomists usually get it on the first try, even with fat babies. Amelia was not so fortunate. The three nice phlebotomists tried to get baby's blood venously FOUR times, all to no avail. Poor Amelia was absolutely hysterical.

The worst thing was that I couldn't nurse the poor baby per lab policy... they're afraid of her choking. Seriously? So sad. The phlebotomists apologized every time they failed, promising that they wouldn't have stuck her again if they hadn't been fairly sure they'd get a vein.

I wasn't sure which would have been less traumatizing for Amelia: staying there and continuing to attempt to get her blood, or coming back another day and starting this whole ordeal over again. It's hard to make decisions like that when your baby has been screaming at the top of her lungs for half-an-hour straight.

I decided to stay. I didn't think they'd be more successful on a different day... Amelia'd be just as chubby (if not chubbier) in a few days, and her veins would be just as thin.

Instead of trying venously for the fifth time, they finally just poked her left ring finger and milked for blood until they had filled eight of those baby-sized vials.

It was really hard on me, though I couldn't claim it was as hard on me as it was on Amelia.

Anyway, the stool and blood studies are already back. Mostly normal... and the abnormal things are the sort of things that aren't necessarily abnormal, if you know what I mean. For instance, an inflammation marker was high. And one of the stool tests maybe could possibly indicate the teensiest bit of malabsorption. So we'll probably repeat that test in a couple weeks.

So tomorrow I get to schedule a brain ultrasound which will probably turn out normal. We figured we might as well do that before her fontanels close, because after that happens we'll only be able to image her brain via a more expensive and radiationy method, like an MRI or a CT scan.

I confess that I've secretly wanted to see images of Amelia's brain. These are the urges that afflict mothers with neuroscience degrees. It seems this wish will be fulfilled. I should be less excited.

I've also been trying desperately to get Amelia to sleep for more hours each day, hoping she'll be happier if she's less tired. It's not turning out to be easy, partly because she's obviously having a hard time. And I'm not sure sleeping more is improving her mood, but we'll keep trying.

We're trying to get her to bed earlier each night too. We hadn't been doing that hard-core at all, because James often gets home at the time Amelia should be in bed. And well, I don't want her to miss out on too much daddy time. Oh, I'd like some me time too. Secondly, all the exciting stuff (like hanging with Paul, Cassie, Matt and Shanna) happens at night. I need to get out of the house to stay sane, but Amelia is absolutely not ready to be babysat... particularly because she doesn't sleep unless I'm next to her. Darn. Still not sure where the appropriate balance for this is.

Well, hopefully she'll go through a happy phase soon, and we can work on teaching her fall asleep and stay asleep on her own. At the very least, I am happy to report that she is able to stay asleep about half the time without staying attached to my chest. This is progress, I'd say.

Sigh. I don't know if I'll ever get around to that "a day in the life" post for five months. Oh well. Stay tuned for the six-month edition. Hopefully, I will find time to write it.

Love and brains,
Jenna and Amelia

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

The Next Challenge

It's quite possible that Amelia is teething, but there's a big part of me that remains skeptical because long ago everyone and their dog posited that possibility as an explanation for her fussy behavior. I suppose I won't be completely convinced until she cuts her first tooth.

Nevertheless, the past few days have been even more challenging than normal. She's even more irritable than usual and definitely less playful. She's usually in a great mood first thing in the morning, but lately she's having a hard time having fun.

The child is constantly attempting to cram her entire fist in her face and is furious that this doesn't seem to be working too well. She's also nursing even more than usual. Teething rings and toys aren't too popular, though. Neither are cold rags. Perhaps I should be alarmed by the lifetime preference for human flesh.

Drool always adorns her face and she keeps trying to bite my fingers and knees. I give her gum massages and they help... though not for long. (My secret to smooth, soft, beautiful skin is baby drool. Call me if you want some for your own beauty regime.)

I eventually just didn't know what else to do, so I brought out the Tylenol. I kid you not, this has made all the difference in the world. The post-Tylenol Amelia is sunny and playful... or dead asleep. I'm a little confused about the sleeping, though. Fatigue to this degree isn't really a common side effect. My best guess is that the teething pain has made it difficult (or perhaps impossible) for Amelia to sleep deeply, so once she's not screaming or writhing in what looks like excruciating pain, she immediately packs her bags and takes a train to dreamland.

In other news, I had a little episode of mommy burnout. I'd recently determined not to complain to just anybody about such things, but in moments of weakness I break down and ask for advice. This often ends up only discouraging me further, since people offer advice that worked for them... and, well, I don't think very many of my friends have children with temperaments like Amelia's. Perhaps they think I exaggerate and they think that, in reality, Amelia is more like their own babies than I'd care to admit.

No, I don't think Amelia is like all those other babies. But can I blame people for thinking that she probably is? No. No, I cannot.

I made the same mistake at first: that is, I assumed everyone else's baby was just like Amelia. I have slowly come to realize that this is simply not so.

It took dozens of times hearing the exclamation "I can't believe you want to nurse again, baby! It's only been three hours!" tumble from the lips of other mothers for me to realize that seriously, their babies are usually perfectly satisfied nursing only every few hours. What a novel idea.

And I started hearing other moms pining after the sacred nap time, a time when baby sleeps (and stays asleep) alone and mom can have some time to herself. And maybe cook or clean something. How perplexing. Maybe I'm just not putting baby down as gently as they put their babies down or something. Nope.

And then I hear mothers praising the almighty swing. I joined in too, saying that every once in a while, it tricked Amelia into thinking she was still in my arms long enough for me to eat breakfast. And then I realized that many babies stay asleep for HOURS in a swing. And I ran across several warnings not to leave your baby in a swing for more than x number of hours... when they're awake. James and I were surprised and wondered aloud, "What?! There are babies that let you leave them--awake--in a swing--for hours?" I'm not sure I'd believe it even if I saw it.

It took me months to realize, deep down, that everyone else's baby is not like mine. And then, during mommy burnout, I forgot. When I got a ton of recommendations to hire a babysitter and go do something without Amelia... I began to doubt myself. Perhaps everyone and their dog is right. Perhaps I do need to do what everyone else does and leave Amelia with someone else for a while. But it didn't feel right.

So I did what I always do when I feel like something isn't right: I prayed for clarification. I prayed a lot. I even got a priesthood blessing for strength and comfort. Well, of course that helped tremendously. I have no idea what happens to other people's babies when they're left behind, but I know Amelia, and I need to stay with her. And you know what else? Yes, I needed to recharge, but I found out that there are ways to recharge while keeping the baby with me.

I feel a lot better now. I recharged... by going out. With the baby, but I went out. I went shopping. I hung out with other moms and their babies, and we had some nice adult conversations without a hint of sing-song voices or nonsense. I spent time with friends. And I feel 100%... and I never had to leave Amelia during one of the more difficult parts of her life so far. Whaddaya know? The Man Upstairs knows what He's talking about. Even better: I'd been feeling so alone, like I'm the only mom with a high-need baby among all my acquaintances... I discovered that one of my friends also has a high-need baby. Yay (for me)!

And besides... I honestly believe there isn't a babysitter on the planet who could handle Amelia. And honestly, time without the baby isn't all that relaxing.for me. Most importantly, it's awful for Amelia. Someday she'll be ready to let me leave her alone for a while. Not yet, though.

The other big thing I needed to do to feel better? Stop comparing myself to others.

Anyway, Amelia is sad that I'm not nursing.

Love and lactose,
Jenna and Amelia

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Chubby Baby

While I was pregnant, I would have told you I didn't have any real expectations about what Amelia would be like. I mean, I was openminded to having any baby from a wide range of babyness.

It turns out that I did have expectations, actually. I expected her to fit within two (maybe two and a half) standard deviations of the mean... in all parameters.

I think Miss Amelia is exceptional in two regards: her size and her temperament.

Amelia is not exceptionally long... just fat, very fat. Mostly in her cheeks, legs, and arms. Designers of baby clothes did not have Amelia in mind when they were doing their jobs. It seems that most clothes are way too big on my daughter, except in ONE dimension... i.e. a pair of pants is way too long on her, but we can't get the waist of the the pants over her massive thighs and butt; roomy shirts that squeeze Amellia's arms like sausage casing.

And of course Amelia Rose will not tolerate tight clothing.

Sewing skills would have come in handy right about now... if I had any.

The end result is that we go up yet another size and have to roll up sleeves and pant legs. And then her clothes drape over her like a tent on a small hippo.

Amelia will be 20 pounds in a matter of days (if she isn't already) and wears size 4 diapers since the size 3s are beginning to squeeze her thighs a little too tightly. She is 4.5 months old. I am currently collecting clothing in the following sizes: 18 month, 24 month, and 2T. Except for pants... those vary wildly in fit-ability. We have 6-month pants that fit her perfectly. We also have 18-month pants that WILL NOT fit over her chunk-o-thighs.

Love and liquid cheesecake,
Jenna and Amelia

Monday, December 31, 2012

Amelia's 4-Month Checkup

Height: 25.5 inches (90th percentile)
Weight: 18 lbs 10.2 oz (100th1 percentile)
Head circumference: 16.5 inches (didn't bother telling us the percentile)
Shots: two in her right thigh and one in her left thigh (unhappy baby, got over it after turning red with anger and then nursing to contentment)
Development: seems to be pretty average on grabbing skills, above average on pushing up on her forearms during tummy time (but completely uninterested in rolling over), above average in standing (horrible balance), super alert (too alert?), coos and smiles appropriately, excellent eye contact
Comments from the pediatrician: "She seems old for her age."2 "I love her chubby limbs!"

Love and building immunities,
Jenna and Amelia


1 Hmm. Is there such a thing as the 100th percentile? I was always under the impression it was a mystical number, only to be obtained by sampling the ENTIRE population and to be proudly awarded to the data point with the truly largest value... Well, the pediatrician is under the impression Amelia is IT.

2 I think the idea she was trying to convey was that Amelia is so alert and attentive, like an older person in a baby's body. I think, anyway.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

2012 in Photographic Review

January
I think we announced to everyone that we were pregnant. We'd found out on Christmas 2011.
I got really sick.
James was in his second year of grad school, working toward his PhD in mathematics.

February
Like, really sick. Hyperemesis gravidarum, sick.
I had to start working very part-time.

March
Still sick. I'm still working part-time, and calling in sick fairly frequently.
We started calling the baby Pterodactyl.

April
I've given up on ever getting over the pregnancy nausea until I give birth.
I had an ultrasound, and we found out Pterodactyl is a girl.


May
Sick. Sick. Sick.
Oh, and we flew over to Pennsylvania for Peter and Katie's wedding.


June
I visited my family in Arizona. We surprised my mother with my visit.
Still sick a lot.

July
Sick. Hardly working.
A few people threw a baby shower for me and Nikky Randall, whose due date was the day after mine.

August
Sick. Quit my job.
My water broke in the middle of night on the 19th, but I did not go into labor.
We went to the hospital, and labor was induced.


And Amelia Rose Dilts was born on the 20th around 6pm.
She weighed exactly 7 pounds and was exactly 20 inches long.


She was jaundiced for a while.
Also very sleepy.



September
But things got better.


Until the jaundice and excessive sleepiness stopped.
Then she become a mightily fussy child, all the time.


My parents came to visit for Amelia's blessing on the 30th.
This was nice.


October
The fussiness continues, although there were less fussy times.
The doctor told us it was colic.
And so when Amelia had a less-fussy phase, we thought the storm was over.
This turned out not to be the case.
But we love her anyway.


November
This was a fairly good month.
Amelia got pretty chubby.


And sometimes she smiled.


We went and visited Danny and Steffanie's family for Thanksgiving.


December

Amelia continued to gain weight and was 18 pounds by the end of December.
We visited the Corbitts in Washington for Christmas.


2013 will be a surprise.
We hope it is the good kind.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Christmas Traditions

James and I don't really have any Christmas traditions yet. We spent Christmas with my freshman roommate's family; they seemed to have plenty. They went caroling and dropped off homemade jelly. They watch the Muppet Christmas Carol every year. They decorate gingerbread men or houses. They read Christmas stories. They act out the Nativity. I think there are more, but I forgot them.

I'm not sure I want quite so many traditions just out of consideration for my own stress level, but I think I do want some.

So far, here are my ideas:
  1. Something to do with Jesus. We'll think of something, right?
  2. Buy Christmas decorations for half off after Christmas, then use them the following year. Abstain from buying these before Christmas.1
  3. Everybody gets to choose their own stocking at the store when they are old enough to reasonably do so. Before this, they get to use one of James' long socks.2

That's all. Please tell me your Christmas traditions, I am in need of ideas! :)

Love and Christmas,
Jenna and Amelia


1 We bought our first Christmas tree for $12.50 a few days ago. It is a four foot tall fake spruce. It has lights built into it. Woo! We also got some blue shatterproof ornaments and a couple pretty bead garlands for it. Maybe next year we will buy stockings for James and me.

2 So here's the thing. I'm a neat freak. My family had four matching stockings... and five people. There was always an odd stocking out. It bugged me so bad. And, well, I have no idea how many children I will have. I could have two. Or twelve. Or any number in between. So the only way I can guarantee that all our stockings will match would be if I bought fourteen all at once... even though I have no idea if I actually will have twelve children. So I figure letting everyone pick their own stocking will mean NONE of the stockings will match, but that's better than only a few matching in my book. I can convince myself it's okay that they don't match if each stocking was picked individually. :)