31W6D

Today is a momentous occasion. James and I purchased diapers. Actual diapers! For the very first time! As James said, "This s*** just got real." (Yes, he said it just like that. With the asterisks. He's skilled like that.) Yay, puns!

We had a Costco coupon for diapers and figured we should use it, because we are going to need them. And, if the rumors are true, we will be needing lots of them. We got a box of the tiny diapers and a box of the next size up. We figure that, unless Pterodactyl is a BEAST, we'll need to get more tiny diapers before moving up to the next size, but... maybe Pterodactyl will be a beast. (My woman parts sure hope not.)

Oh! Exciting news! I am typing this from the shiny, gorgeous Chromebox Ben (James' brother and computer programmer extraordinaire) sent us. Ben is super nice and super awesome and sent it to us because he purportedly gets cool stuff he doesn't need at programming conferences. (Cool stuff one doesn't need? What is this ye speak of?) I suppose we should also sing Liliana's praises for taking time out of her day to mail it to us. Thanks, familia!

Now, we were pretty surprised at how much we like this Chromebox thing. Once James got the monitor to work, he commenced a symphony of oos. "Oo! That was a quick boot-up time!" Four seconds, baby. "Oo!" "Oo!" "Oo!" Sure, all the Chromebox does is Internet, but let's be honest... You can do almost anything on the Internet nowadays. A notable exception, of course, is Starcraft II and Diablo III... Sorry to remind you, James.

The fate of the old laptop is uncertain. It continues to balance waveringly on a cusp between almost-could-be-maybe-slightly-useful and useless. Some days it makes interesting noises which sound like a stream of sand funneling through a swiftly rotating fan. Some days it won't boot up without thinking, "Huh. I think something is wrong with the hard drive. I should run diagnostics!" On the other hand, there are also some days that you can use it almost normally, provided you don't mind waiting 5-20 minutes for a program to load. We're not quite sure when the appropriate time is to take the poor guy out to the dumpster.

So. Pregnancy continues to be... interesting. I do believe that my midsection has finally grown out past my chest, but sometimes I'm not sure. I'm terrified, people. I think I'm going to be stuck with porn boobs* when this is all over. I mean, seriously, I would really prefer not having to go to a specialty store just to find one bra that fits. I enjoy finding cool zebra-print bras for under $10. I really do.

I had a roommate in college who faced this predicament without pregnancy. Dear lady: I officially apologize for every time I thought, "Sure, it's inconvenient, but surely it's not that bad." If you do ever decide to get a breast reduction, I will gladly donate at least $5 to the cause.

You may be interested to know that I'm getting $50 this week to be a model and get my picture taken. Women's Care (where I work) is redesigning their website and hired a photographer to get photos of warm, friendly, comfortable patient-practitioner interaction. And they decided a picture of a pregnant lady getting an ultrasound was absolutely necessary. Guess which employee is mighty good-looking and pregnant? Me! I think it's a pretty sweet deal.

Lest you demand to see the picture immediately, I should warn you that the new website may take months and months to actually materialize. I'll let you know when I finally make my debut as pregnant supermodel extraordinaire.

Pterodactyl is wiggly. I think she had hiccups this morning. She is definitely getting bigger, and thusly, those little kicks are becoming more noticeable. Sometimes, a particularly well-placed punch will wake me up out of a deep slumber. Those'uns are painful. However, these are few and far between. More often, I don't even notice that she's moving unless I deliberately sit still and concentrate. That's when I feel like she's fingerpainting the inside of my uterus. It feels like something is sliding around on the walls. Back and forth, back and forth. Very gently. Delicately.

James is leaving for a math conference tomorrow. It will last for two entire weeks. This makes me a little sad, of course. What am I going to do without a servant to do all my bidding? Eat more microwave meals and do less laundry, that's what. Also I should socialize and stuff.

Anyway, love and Costco berry smoothie**,
Jenna and Pterodactyl

---
* I discovered this phrase when one of our more colorful patients used it. She predicts that as soon as I deliver, I will no longer have an ounce of nausea and will be left with only a newborn and porn boobs. She also predicts that I will forget the months and months of nausea I've experienced and immediately announce a desire to have ten more pregnancies. I am somewhat worried that she will be accurate on all accounts.
** While we were at Costco today, one of the employees told me "the baby probably would like a berry smoothie, 'cuz it's gluten-free!" ... Wait, what?