This post is mostly about my theories concerning why my nausea has suddenly gotten so bad, with some dabbling at the end with thoughts about how big a family we might have and how closely spaced the kids might be...
*wince* Oh yes, I know. Bad Jenna. But my nausea was getting so bad that I just had to know if something I was taking was making it worse. I did it last pregnancy, too, coming to the conclusion that none of my daily medications were exacerbating my nausea. Something I'm taking seems to affecting my nausea this time, though.
So, with my initial experiments (badly designed, scientifically speaking)... on the days I did vomit profusely, I had taken my prenatal vitamin, Wellbutrin, and my new, increased thyroid dose.
On the days I did not vomit and felt almost nausea-free, I took none of them.
So yes, further experimentation was needed to confirm it was the thyroid stuff and not the vitamin or the antidepressant that I was taking at the same time.
The results of further testing were not what I was expecting at all. If I take thyroid and Wellbutrin, I am violently ill. If I take thyroid and vitamin, I feel just fine. If I take Wellbutrin and vitamin, I am again violently ill.
I think I might do some more trials. And talk to my doctor and stuff.
The desire to know what is making me sick so I can eat food and drink liquid and therefore NOT DIE is conflicting with my uneasiness about experimenting with my thyroid medication and my antidepressant. These are stereotypically things doctors cringe when they hear about, for good reason.
If I start going all depressed and anxious again... I don't know. It'd just be bad. I *think* it'd be better than struggling with hyperemesis. The vomiting is just... I'm scared. It is feeling exactly like it did when I was pregnant with Amelia. And that was scary. I need some prayers and such.
One thing to clarify, I suppose...
As for why I'm getting so sick NOW all of a sudden when I had been taking Wellbutrin throughout this pregnancy (even during the low-nausea parts)... and especially since it is almost unheard of for pregnancy nausea to suddenly show up or intensify in the middle of the second trimester (maybe third trimester because of the humongo uterus smooshing up against the stomach). Well, I have some suspicions.
My gut tells me it's because I stopped nursing Amelia. There is a rumor that nursing during pregnancy significantly decreases morning sickness for some women... unfortunately, nobody has deigned to do a study on this, so no one really knows if that little tidbit is myth or fact.
I will say, though, that it just happens to coincide with my own experience quite nicely. (Will somebody puh-lease do a study on this?)
Another theory I have is that it is now summer, and since heat is a known trigger, perhaps this is exacerbating it. Only... I've been staying in the air-conditioned apartment all day.With a fan blowing on me at almost all times. I am sometimes cold when I am vomiting lately. So this theory seems a little shaky to me.
So yeah. I need some prayers and such. I am desperately hoping to at least find some way to lessen my nausea to levels I feel are survivable, even if it doesn't go back to the comfortable levels of merely-annoying-nausea I had while nursing Amelia. Perhaps specifically pray that I can remain sane and not get uber-depressed.
I am also worried about the implications of the idea of nursing being the only thing so far that I've found that curbs my pregnancy nausea down to manageable levels. If this is true, this means that my best bet for surviving subsequent pregnancies is to conceive while breastfeeding (can be quite difficult... this one certainly required a lot of effort) and then nurse during pregnancy as much as possible (can be quite uncomfortable, and some toddlers choose to wean due to pregnancy-induced changes in the breastmilk)...
It also suggests that I should try to space all the babies close together, however many that is. I don't even know how many babies I want can handle. I've always liked the idea of a big family, though I will be the first to admit I may not personally be able to handle so many pregnancies. Maybe I can do four or five. Or fewer. I don't know.
I mean, I suppose I'm not certain that nursing is the reason early pregnancy was so vomit-free this time. But it is looking that way to me. Though, if it is, I should probably get down on my knees and thank God for promptings to try and get pregnant with baby #2 so soon after Amelia finally showed up.
I honestly thought I was absolutely nuts when, immediately after giving birth and therefore ending nine months of debilitating nausea, my first thoughts and feelings were, Wow. I like babies. I should have another, ASAP. These thoughts and feelings continued and even intensified as Amelia turned out to be fussy almost all the time and needed to be attended 24/7.
I also honestly thought I was absolutely nuts when, with a colicky six-month old, I kept feeling like I needed to start trying for another baby even though I felt like I couldn't handle anything more than crazy Amelia. I hadn't even resumed ovulating yet.
It took nearly a year before I ended up with another viable pregnancy. It also took all the expertise I had gained from working in a fertility clinic. So it was difficult, I was sure it made no sense, and I was also nearly as certain that--even without nausea--I was going to have an extremely difficult time with pregnancy once I had achieved, simply given the nature of the child I already had.
But now I wonder... If I had waited much longer, maybe I wouldn't have managed to get pregnant until after Amelia had weaned herself. And then, if it was nursing that made early pregnancy so bearable, I would instead have been too sick to take care of Amelia. Like at all.
Today I am too sick to adequately take care of Amelia. She is not feeling very loved today. I am insisting on sitting on the couch (alone) while staring at the ceiling, or perhaps sitting at the computer so I can type a few paragraphs at a time before I decide I need to lie down again. Toddlers were not designed to be ignored all day.
James is on his way home to help out. At the very least, I need to thank Heavenly Father that my nausea did not get severe until exactly when James suddenly had no real obligations at school. Of course, he still needs to do math research. But he can do that whenever he has time, and he does not have any classes to attend or teach, no office hours, etc. He can come home when I need him. Those of you sending prayers our way may want to include him. He isn't getting as much time to research his math because he is helping me, and he could use any divine interference he can get in being absolutely brilliant while working fewer hours.
I did not originally intend this post to be longer than half a page. Oh well.
Love and babies,
Jenna
and Amelia
and Dragon
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