Strike of the Colic... Maybe.

Hello, fans! After considering my options, I've decided to learn Serbian. See, James really, really, really wants to speak Serbian with Amelia (and me), and that'd be easiest if all three of us could carry on a conversation in Serbian. So... yeah. I've been learning vocabulary... we took masking tape and labeled all our furniture in the living room. I can say couch, bookshelf, printer, computer, table, chair, box, lid, wheel, floor, wall, window, and ceiling. I can't, however, construct a simple sentence like, The couch is blue. I can,  though, flirt a little. I can say, You are handsome. And I love you. And also You are horrible. I promise, that last one can be construed as flirtatious depending on how you say it. (Џејмс, ти си страшан!)

As if prompted by my complaint about having free time, Amelia suddenly became very, very fussy starting some time last week. The poor kid cries until she turned purple, and then starts choking on her own spittle. If you want to know what she sounds like at her angriest, don't swallow your spit for a few minutes. Then gurgle that spit, while screaming at 90-115 decibels.

All our soothing tricks were strangely less effective. Nursing, however, is still Amelia's favorite thing ever. So, pretty soon, I began nursing the monster 24/7. I mean it! We'd finally be asleep, and then... catastrophe! The nipple would fall out of her mouth. Terror! Calamity! Needless to say, Amelia would fuss and cry until she was nursing again, and it would continue all through the night, just like that. Unfortunately, Amelia still recognizes pacifiers as inferior imposters, and, although fingers are still acceptable, I think even those are losing their savor. Maybe she just prefers the taste of human flesh.

We finally ran out of ideas for soothing her, and I figured that as much as this is stressing us out, it's probably nothing compared to all the stress hormones coursing through her system whenever she turns purple with rage.

So, I took her to the pediatrician. You know, just to make sure something horrible isn't going on. Like... a growth-hormone-secreting tumor on her pituitary gland. Or an alien virus slowly eating her toenails. You know. Stuff like that. Well, the doctor didn't find anything wrong. In fact, as Dr. Pelinka examined Amelia's belly, she was showered with beautiful baby smiles.

Wait, seriously, little lady? I take you in to the doctor because you're super fussy, and this is how you act? Sunny and happy, with not a care in the world? Goodness, you haven't smiled at me for days! And thus I ended up bursting into tears in the pediatrician's office, feeling pretty pathetic. And jealous. How dare the pediatrician steal my hard-earned baby smiles.

Anyway, she (the pediatrician) didn't find anything obviously wrong with the baby, which is great. It's also a little disappointing, in a way, because that means there isn't anything obvious or easy to fix and magically make the crying stop.

Dr. Pelinka thought that perhaps Amelia has reflux, and the digestive juices are scorching her throat and stuff. (Ouch!) There's a pretty invasive test that could diagnose it (or rule it out) for sure, but it involves an overnight stay in the hospital with a tube down her throat for 24 hours. So instead she told us to try reflux medicine for two weeks to see if it helps.* Oh, and the other usual advice, like keeping her upright as much as possible (especially after eating), and all that jazz.

And if treating for reflux doesn't help, then it's "just" colic. I.e. "just" unexplained crying. Woohoo! This seems odd to me, because it was my understanding that colic is typically worst at about 6 weeks after baby's due date. And, um, so why did it start so late, and continue to get worse? Sigh. She's almost 10 weeks old now. If it's just colic, then if we can't get her to stop crying after all our little tricks that usually work wonders**, then we're just supposed to hold the screaming baby while wearing ear plugs. ... Awesome.

It is my hope that the reflux medication is helpful... I mean, Amelia does exhibit enough symptoms that it could be reflux. Sigh. I just want her to be happy.

Sometimes I think, Man, I wish Amelia spoke English. And then I realize that might not actually be all that helpful. She'd be like, "Huh. I don't feel good." "Oh? Tell me about this." "... I don't know, Mom. I haven't quite figured out how locate feelings in my body. It could be in my head. Or my foot. Or even my eyelashes. I don't know. It just doesn't feel good."*** ... It wouldn't be much more helpful than the crying, even if it were less annoying. Sigh.

In other news, it seems Amelia has developed a propensity for nightmares****, just in time for Halloween. Just the other night, the kid was happily asleep, cuddling with her also-asleep daddy. I was trying to fall asleep as well, and was staring at her, when, all of a sudden--"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" The sleeping kid let out a sudden shriek, and yikes, did she sound terrified.

Amelia's eyes shot wide open in terror and bewilderment, as if she had no idea that she was the one who had screamed. James bolted upright, suddenly awake. I also bolted upright and scooped up the kid and got her nursing immediately. That seemed to calm her down fairly quickly. She was drenched in sweat.

Something similar happened this morning. She woke up suddenly again, but without the scream. Instead, she hyperventilated herself awake. Her breathing got faster and faster until her eyes shot open and her limbs splayed outward, flailing in terror. It was like she thought she was falling down a bottomless pit or something.

Anyway, wish us luck!
Џена н Амилија
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*Sigh. So if Amelia stops crying so much during these two weeks, how do I know it was actually the medicine and not, say, getting older, or the weather, or some other factor?
**I highly recommend Dr. Harvey Karp's "The Happiest Baby on the Block". If you're one of my pregnant friends, go check it out from the library. Doooo it. Other tricks--walking outside, warm baths, cuddling baby close to a vibrating Adam's apple (James likes to sing).
***Ah, the disadvantages of a developing nervous system...
****What do babies have nightmares about? Oh no! It was so horrible! I dreamt that I woke up in that place!  What place? That place where no one holds the baby! ... Oh. That.. sounds... awful. I guess. What? I could have DIED, you know.