The Magic of Colic*

So here's a huge piece of good news... I think the colic might be over! And I think it happened rather suddenly, too. On Wednesday, I woke up and Amelia was super smiley. And then she stayed happy for most of the day. She kept smiling on Thursday and Friday and Saturday... and the rest is history. Hopefully this means I can blog more... Writing is therapeutic for me, so I would definitely appreciate the opportunity to write more!**

Of course, the little one still cries, but she not inconsolable. She'll actually stop crying when we bounce or walk her. Yay!

This is all very fantastic, of course, but I don't think I've mentally or physically recovered from the colic yet. I've started getting migraines which only manifest themselves when Amelia is crying. I discovered that--particularly when Amelia cried--I was majorly tensing all the muscles in my body, including the ones in my neck which can trigger migraines when tight. So I've been having horrible headaches. I'm trying to relax, I promise.

So right about now is the time where my past self would say, "Oh good. Guess what, everyone? I no longer need your help! I'm all good!" But I think my present self is wiser. One of the lessons I learned while having a colicky baby is that I have to get over myself. I have to ask for and accept help, even if I'm tempted to claim I don't need any.

Last week I realized that I didn't have enough of a certain size of clothes for Amelia (namely, the one she just grew into***), so I went to go look through the clothes that had been donated to poor people. And although my family is in the "poor people" category right now, I still felt like I was stealing. Like those clothes were meant for someone else.

I often have conversations with myself which morph into prayers. So I started talking to God--"I feel like I'm stealing. Stealing with permission or something. Am I stealing? I mean, I could make do with eight onesies, one dress, one coat, no pants, and no socks, right?"

And you know what struck me after I asked that?

Jenna, stop being so selfish and allow others to serve you.

Hur? How is not asking for help selfish? How is trying to do it all on my own selfish?

And then I started to remember things I'd been thinking and asking a few mere months before. During my last month or so of pregnancy, I'd wanted to serve and help others. And I found it incredibly hard to do so, because I didn't know where I was needed.

I'd say that, short of inspiration, there was no way to know if friends or even strangers needed help unless they explicitly asked for help or let me know they weren't doing well. And no one did. I think I missed out on the joy of serving others because I didn't know who needed me... and I'm certain I was needed somewhere.

And you know what? I was really sad, because I wanted to be of service.

Well, apparently I have acquaintances who need me to let them know I need help as I put myself back together again after three or four weeks of colicky crying. Someone offered me a massage. And you know what? I had to put my pride on the shelf and say, "Hey, you know how you offered to give me a massage? I'd like to take you up on that offer. When can this happen?" And "I need help with dinners. Feeeeed me, Seymour!" Oh, and "Remember how you offered me a haircut?**** Can we do that sometime?"

Love and chocolate satin pie,
Jenna and Amelia

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*When I visited the pediatrician to make sure Amelia's colicky crying wasn't secretly a sign of impending death, she quipped (in an effort to be optimistic), "Well, the magic of colic is that it goes away!" Wait, what? The magic of colic?
**Post ideas include how James and I got together, how my neuroscience degree has made me a better mom, things I've learned as a parent, advice for my pregnant friends, a killer gas episode that made Amelia very vocal and made James panic, my goals, how Amelia absolutely abhors car rides... I may write about all or some or none of these. Let me know if any of those particularly interest you, aye?
***So... depending on the brand, Amelia is wearing 3-6 month size or 6-9 month size clothing. Eeep! Big baby!
****Some of you who know me well know that I've always wanted to chop all my hair off because I really, really, really, really dislike hair maintenance. Someone asked me... "Well, why don't you?" So I think I'm going to try a pixie cut. I've always wanted to at least try one out, and I figure there isn't a better time in my life to trial run an ultra-low maintenance cut, right? And who knows, I might actually look even more sexy with a pixie. As for why I haven't... I think because some of my male family members and friends have said, "No! Don't do it! Hair is attractive!" But James is now the only man I will consult about my appearance, and well... he couldn't care less.