Pregnancy update from 8 weeks (1/23/12). Previously sent by email to select audience. :)
It sucks.
I've recently come to the conclusion that despite nutritional value and past tastiness, vegetables are the spawn of the devil, as are cooking smells. I absolutely cannot stand walking through the produce aisle at the store--the horrors of being bombarded with the beastly odors of lettuce, tomatoes, broccoli, and worst of all, green chiles--nothing is worth that. Nothing. Unfortunately, despite my previous positive opinions about James' second love and primary diet staple--three bean chili--there is absolutely nothing on planet Earth that smells worse, except perhaps rotting corpses and body odor. James often smells of metal and man-sweat (metal being the offensive smell, which is curiously cancelled out if I drink licorice tea). Merely walking into a kitchen that was used to cook something two days ago can trigger retching and such. It's totally adventurous!
This is an especially tragic development because before the nausea, smell sensitivity and food aversions hit, I was doing so well! Vegetables, fruits, and legumes were the tastiest things on earth, partly because eating so many of them eased my muscular pain, headaches, depression, and pretty every physical malady I've ever had. I was on top of the world! (Which is why it was a good time to get pregnant, right?)
So after thriving on a superior diet, suddenly switching to a diet 90% comprised of Saltines, graham crackers, French bread, muffins, ginger ale, fruit juice w/ seltzer water, Coca-Cola, peppermint tea, and licorice tea... it should be no surprise that I am super tired, headachy and moody.
And I'm sure the hormone thingies aren't helping with the moody. I found myself so emotionally moved by the song "Thank You for the Music" by ABBA that I began to tear up. And then "Dancing Queen" came on and I totally lost it. I mean, she's only seventeen and she's a dancing queen... doesn't everyone tear up when they hear those lines? No? Oh.
Despite James being as wonderful as ever, he also has to tread more lightly. I think I got upset at him for something like... I don't know. It was dumb. I think he put on a shirt that was not my favorite color. And then he was only 98.5% as attractive as he usually is. Plus he needs a haircut, so that knocks it down to 96.5% as good-looking. And then I was sad. And then I cried. And then I thought, "This is stupid." So I cried some more, because it was stupid.
I also get teary when I'm writing a dictation at work about a patient who had an abortion, even if it was 30 years ago. This at least is actually sad, so I only cry a little and don't weep. (I reserve weeping for irrational emotions, only. Plus, it is bad form to cry in front of patients.)
With all that said, all else is well. The baby is somewhere around the size of a kidney bean or a gummy bear. And depending from which angle you look at it, it looks like both a kidney bean and a gummy bear. We of course haven't had an ultrasound yet, but if we did, we would see newly forming dentation centers where its teeth would someday be, and I'd be tempted to name it Skeletor solely based on its appearance by ultrasound.
Speaking of names, we have none picked out. I can readily think of many girl names that I would find acceptable. If I had to pick a girl name right now, I'd say Adella Dilts, but I am by no means committed to it. I am more lost in the boy name department. I'd leave it to James, but if it were up to him, we'd have kids with middle names like Trogdor and Skeletor and Megatron. Not that Samuel Skeletor Dilts isn't a great name, but I'm not confident the kid could pull it off. You have to be quite a someone to trot around bearing a name like that proudly. I figure if the kid is really sad we didn't name him/her Skeletor, that's what legal name changes are for, right?
No, I haven't started showing. Ask again in a month and a half. I'll prolly looking somewhat pregnant at that point. After that, it's likely bowling-ball belly from there on out (at least, that's what is to be expected given my cyborg spine). Speaking of the titanium rods fused to my spine (wow, so many of you have asked about this)... The rate of C-sections in women who had the surgery I had is exactly the same as it is in the general population. This translates as no additional delivery complications. Pregnancy itself should actually be somewhat better--since my spine is so... rigid, I should not experience the characteristic back pain of pregnancy. Hooplah! I'm all for news like that.
The only thing that may be a bit complicated is the whole pain management option. Those ever-popular epidurals may not be an option for me. If I want one, I would need the #1 anestheliogist around to do it. But depending on how much scar tissue there is right there, they still might not want to do it due to increased risk of infection. And some women who had my surgery report less-than-successful epidural results, with only one side of their bodies pain-free, or off-and-on numbness. For those reasons I might prefer those morphine-button machines.
The due date is September 2nd, so we'd expect him or her to show up around that time, plus or minus two weeks. This couldn't be better timed, insurance-wise. We have an out-of-pocket max $1,000 per insurance year... and the year starts over September 15th. Due to all the physical therapy I've done and random things like H. pylori infections, I've already hit $850, and I'm likely to hit $1,000 a few months before delivery. Basically, this means the delivery (and OB care actually) should be 100% paid for by insurance. This was verified when I called the insurance company (the woman on the phone didn't sound nearly as excited as I did). I was pretty sure there was no such thing as a free delivery. I thought they cost everyone AT LEAST a few thousand out of pocket.
Ta-ta for now,
Jenna and Baby Alpha :)
Monday, January 23, 2012
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
I Like Lots of Things
I am doing really well. It turns out that most of my nausea and such is explained by a bacterial infection. In my stomach. I am killing it with antibiotics and am already feeling better. Woo! Emotionally, I've been doing amazing. I found a medication that is helpful and am totally taking advantage of affordable psychotherapy while I can. My thyroid is working fine.
I'm excited to start exercising with the upcoming semester. My goal is to attend the gym at the university twice a week. It turns out that I like elliptical machines way much very more much than running. And stationary bikes aren't nearly as jarring as real bikes. And you can totally rock out to your music on those things instead of being paranoid about not hearing a car coming on a trajectory to run you over. You know. Plus, you can prop books on them. Win! And maybe, I might even start lifting itty bitty baby weights. Maybe.
So basically, I am excited to report a medical all-clear. On the minus side, there are going to be lots of check-ups anyway this year. (But not nearly as many as in the last six months... yikes!) I imagine that these will be mostly comprised of "Hi there, doc. I'm still doing well! Woo hoo!" :)
I'm excited to start exercising with the upcoming semester. My goal is to attend the gym at the university twice a week. It turns out that I like elliptical machines way much very more much than running. And stationary bikes aren't nearly as jarring as real bikes. And you can totally rock out to your music on those things instead of being paranoid about not hearing a car coming on a trajectory to run you over. You know. Plus, you can prop books on them. Win! And maybe, I might even start lifting itty bitty baby weights. Maybe.
So basically, I am excited to report a medical all-clear. On the minus side, there are going to be lots of check-ups anyway this year. (But not nearly as many as in the last six months... yikes!) I imagine that these will be mostly comprised of "Hi there, doc. I'm still doing well! Woo hoo!" :)
Saturday, December 3, 2011
I Like Veggies
I said in one of my earlier posts that the very fact that I'm posting and telling about my problems is a sign that I'm doing fine despite having some issues. That said, I haven't posted in about a month. And, you guessed, I haven't been doing so well.
The most notable news to date is that James and I are experimenting with a vegan diet for six weeks. I have gotten mostly support for this. Usually I hear something along the lines of "That's crazy. I couldn't do it. But if it helps you feel better, go for it! Hope it helps!" On the other hand, my dad is very pro-meat as a source of protein, iron, and other nutrients, and really doesn't think this is a good idea. I wish people knew more about nutrition before they started giving advice.
James, on the other hand? People are mostly incredulous, because he's already so healthy. They usually get it when he tells them he's doing it to support me. I really didn't expect people (a minority, thank goodness) to oppose his decision to support me so much. To those people (who most likely aren't reading this), I wish they would keep in mind that he is supporting me voluntarily. I'm not forcefeeding him vegan poison. And he'll be okay... we think, anyway. ;)
Anyway, one of the biggest reasons I felt the need to to change my diet and not something else was the whole gastrointestinal problem thing. I never described this online, but I've had incessant nausea with almost daily vomiting for about a month. And let's just say the stuff coming out the other end isn't normal. : / I have an appointment at the gastroenterologist's office in a little over a week.
Also, I'm approaching liver disease. Surprise!
Both these pieces of news almost made me cry... I'm trying to cut down on my medical expenses, not add more and more. If I didn't know myself better, I'd wonder if I was going hypochondriac. (I'm not.)
Despite 58 medical appointments in the last six months, I'm not getting better overall. "Overall" is the key word here--I'm experiencing FAR less pain than I was before and my thyroid is finally acting somewhat normal. Even my antithyroid antibodies have reduced by 90%! And mentally, I'm making a comeback. But, as you may understand, more problems popping up as I resolve others is frustrating.
Anyway, I've made little changes in my diet before in the hopes that I'll feel a bit better. I've added more fiber (helpful), more omega-3 fatty acids (helpful), and cut out wheat (also helpful). Yes, they were helpful, but they weren't worth the extra bother and they didn't help me want to avoid "bad" food. I still wanted luscious cheesecakes and deep fried bacon-covered everything.
So. I figured little dietary changes weren't worth it. Drastic ones? Could be. Plus, a six-week experiment would give me clearer empirical results. I made sure I was well educated before embarking on this so I actually don't do something to make matters worse.
There are lots of drastic diet changes to do, but I decided to shoot for the most drastic one. I recommend Dr. Joel Fuhrman's Eat to Live as the most informative book written for the layperson. His strictest suggestions were:
1. Eat as much as you want of :
a. all raw vegetables, including raw carrots (goal: 1 lb. daily)
b. cooked green vegetables (goal: 1 lb. daily)
c. beans, legumes, bean sprouts, and tofu (1 cup daily)
d. fresh fruit (at least 4 daily)
e. eggplant, mushrooms, peppers, onions, tomatoes
2. Not more than one serving per day
a. cooked starchy vegetable OR whole grains (1 cup max. per day)
b. raw nuts and seeds (1 oz. max. per day)
c. avocado (2 oz. max. per day)
d. ground flaxseed (1 tbsp. per day)
e. added oil (1 tbsp. per day)
3. Off-limits
a. dairy products
b. animal products
c. between-meal snacks
d. fruit juice, dried fruit
e. added salt
f. added sweeteners
g. refined flours
He of course had some less drastic plans, but I figured I could do the strictest one for science's sake. :) Wish me luck, y'all!
The most notable news to date is that James and I are experimenting with a vegan diet for six weeks. I have gotten mostly support for this. Usually I hear something along the lines of "That's crazy. I couldn't do it. But if it helps you feel better, go for it! Hope it helps!" On the other hand, my dad is very pro-meat as a source of protein, iron, and other nutrients, and really doesn't think this is a good idea. I wish people knew more about nutrition before they started giving advice.
James, on the other hand? People are mostly incredulous, because he's already so healthy. They usually get it when he tells them he's doing it to support me. I really didn't expect people (a minority, thank goodness) to oppose his decision to support me so much. To those people (who most likely aren't reading this), I wish they would keep in mind that he is supporting me voluntarily. I'm not forcefeeding him vegan poison. And he'll be okay... we think, anyway. ;)
Anyway, one of the biggest reasons I felt the need to to change my diet and not something else was the whole gastrointestinal problem thing. I never described this online, but I've had incessant nausea with almost daily vomiting for about a month. And let's just say the stuff coming out the other end isn't normal. : / I have an appointment at the gastroenterologist's office in a little over a week.
Also, I'm approaching liver disease. Surprise!
Both these pieces of news almost made me cry... I'm trying to cut down on my medical expenses, not add more and more. If I didn't know myself better, I'd wonder if I was going hypochondriac. (I'm not.)
Despite 58 medical appointments in the last six months, I'm not getting better overall. "Overall" is the key word here--I'm experiencing FAR less pain than I was before and my thyroid is finally acting somewhat normal. Even my antithyroid antibodies have reduced by 90%! And mentally, I'm making a comeback. But, as you may understand, more problems popping up as I resolve others is frustrating.
Anyway, I've made little changes in my diet before in the hopes that I'll feel a bit better. I've added more fiber (helpful), more omega-3 fatty acids (helpful), and cut out wheat (also helpful). Yes, they were helpful, but they weren't worth the extra bother and they didn't help me want to avoid "bad" food. I still wanted luscious cheesecakes and deep fried bacon-covered everything.
So. I figured little dietary changes weren't worth it. Drastic ones? Could be. Plus, a six-week experiment would give me clearer empirical results. I made sure I was well educated before embarking on this so I actually don't do something to make matters worse.
There are lots of drastic diet changes to do, but I decided to shoot for the most drastic one. I recommend Dr. Joel Fuhrman's Eat to Live as the most informative book written for the layperson. His strictest suggestions were:
1. Eat as much as you want of :
a. all raw vegetables, including raw carrots (goal: 1 lb. daily)
b. cooked green vegetables (goal: 1 lb. daily)
c. beans, legumes, bean sprouts, and tofu (1 cup daily)
d. fresh fruit (at least 4 daily)
e. eggplant, mushrooms, peppers, onions, tomatoes
2. Not more than one serving per day
a. cooked starchy vegetable OR whole grains (1 cup max. per day)
b. raw nuts and seeds (1 oz. max. per day)
c. avocado (2 oz. max. per day)
d. ground flaxseed (1 tbsp. per day)
e. added oil (1 tbsp. per day)
3. Off-limits
a. dairy products
b. animal products
c. between-meal snacks
d. fruit juice, dried fruit
e. added salt
f. added sweeteners
g. refined flours
He of course had some less drastic plans, but I figured I could do the strictest one for science's sake. :) Wish me luck, y'all!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
I Like Hiking (I Think)
I'm still surprised that there are people who think I describe things (i.e. my struggles with health) in far too much detail. And I could understand that if I had ever thought that blogging was private. I am aware that anyone and everyone can visit my blog and read up. So, the things I actually think are unacceptable to share, I don't. To be honest, I don't feel like I'm divulging much. I feel that while I do let on that there is a ginormous iceberg worth of personal things to talk about, I only share the stuff above water. That is to say, I only share the things that would be obvious if we WERE talking face-to-face.
For the days when I write about pain--it's totally written all over my face already. For the days when I describe my mental health concerns--you'd be able to tell that I'm struggling inside from a mile away. So if I wanted it to be personal, it'd already be out there, even without writing about it.
I actually have a blog specifically so that I don't keep everything walled up inside. I'm having enough difficulties as it is; if I didn't share, I'm certain I would have more mental breakdowns. I used to have a long list of email addresses and I would send my writings and rantings to everyone on that list.
Although this email system was more private, I decided that a blog was more appropriate for the following reasons:
1) There are people that are not on that email list that are interested in my life and care about me. They definitely want to know what's going on. By making this publicly available, these people are let in, and I can share.
2) Perhaps there are people on that list who DON'T want to read what I have to say. In this case, they simply have the option to never visit my blog.
3) There are people not on the list who are going through similar situations and want to read portions of (but not all) my blog for selfish reasons. While they would not be comfortable announcing that they are having difficulties, they still find comfort knowing that they are not alone. And I don't mind in the slightest.
4) I don't have anything so private that if someone asked or was interested, I wouldn't share anyway. Perhaps you thought I am shy... this isn't true. I'm just quiet. Not shy.
5) I haven't done anything that would get me in trouble if I shared it.
6) It's obvious I'm struggling anyway. My hatred of rumors is enough to want to prevent their formation with a hefty dose of public truth. Furthermore, no one will think less of me for having struggles; anyone in my situation would be struggling. Not everyone in my situation would be thriving as I am thriving.
7) This automatically archives my writings.
8) I just moved. All my close friends (besides my husband) are in other states. It would be overwhelming for me to contact them one by one and tell the same things over and over again. Along the same lines, I don't have anyone in Oregon to confide in yet.
Anyway. To the real purpose of my post: an update that I am doing much better.
Physically, I have not had back pain since I fell down the stairs that one time. Physical therapy has been extremely helpful. I was seeing a second physical therapist for another pain related problem. This problem is also improving drastically.
Mentally, I also seem to be improving. I am now seeing a psychotherapist weekly. I like her and she is a good fit for me. Among the things I am still working through are exercise-related anxiety and being-in-large-groups anxiety. Both are improving.
Two Saturday mornings ago, I told James that we should go hiking. Unfortunately, as soon as he accepted the offer and got ready to go, I had a major panic attack and couldn't go. I had hiked that particular route before and the panic made it so that I could not breathe and thoughts like "I'm dying" and "I'm going to fall down and hurt myself permanently" invaded my mind almost against my will.
I tell you this so that you can understand what a major milestone it was when I hiked up a mountain a few days ago without anxiety. (I did use some anti-anxiety medication, but the idea is to get enough good experiences without anxiety so that I can eventually exercise at will without panic attacks and without medication.) I was surprised to find that although it was challenging (after all, exercise anxiety generally means you're out of shape), it was no big deal. It's great to realize that I actually can climb mountains. Woohoo!
For the days when I write about pain--it's totally written all over my face already. For the days when I describe my mental health concerns--you'd be able to tell that I'm struggling inside from a mile away. So if I wanted it to be personal, it'd already be out there, even without writing about it.
I actually have a blog specifically so that I don't keep everything walled up inside. I'm having enough difficulties as it is; if I didn't share, I'm certain I would have more mental breakdowns. I used to have a long list of email addresses and I would send my writings and rantings to everyone on that list.
Although this email system was more private, I decided that a blog was more appropriate for the following reasons:
1) There are people that are not on that email list that are interested in my life and care about me. They definitely want to know what's going on. By making this publicly available, these people are let in, and I can share.
2) Perhaps there are people on that list who DON'T want to read what I have to say. In this case, they simply have the option to never visit my blog.
3) There are people not on the list who are going through similar situations and want to read portions of (but not all) my blog for selfish reasons. While they would not be comfortable announcing that they are having difficulties, they still find comfort knowing that they are not alone. And I don't mind in the slightest.
4) I don't have anything so private that if someone asked or was interested, I wouldn't share anyway. Perhaps you thought I am shy... this isn't true. I'm just quiet. Not shy.
5) I haven't done anything that would get me in trouble if I shared it.
6) It's obvious I'm struggling anyway. My hatred of rumors is enough to want to prevent their formation with a hefty dose of public truth. Furthermore, no one will think less of me for having struggles; anyone in my situation would be struggling. Not everyone in my situation would be thriving as I am thriving.
7) This automatically archives my writings.
8) I just moved. All my close friends (besides my husband) are in other states. It would be overwhelming for me to contact them one by one and tell the same things over and over again. Along the same lines, I don't have anyone in Oregon to confide in yet.
Anyway. To the real purpose of my post: an update that I am doing much better.
Physically, I have not had back pain since I fell down the stairs that one time. Physical therapy has been extremely helpful. I was seeing a second physical therapist for another pain related problem. This problem is also improving drastically.
Mentally, I also seem to be improving. I am now seeing a psychotherapist weekly. I like her and she is a good fit for me. Among the things I am still working through are exercise-related anxiety and being-in-large-groups anxiety. Both are improving.
Two Saturday mornings ago, I told James that we should go hiking. Unfortunately, as soon as he accepted the offer and got ready to go, I had a major panic attack and couldn't go. I had hiked that particular route before and the panic made it so that I could not breathe and thoughts like "I'm dying" and "I'm going to fall down and hurt myself permanently" invaded my mind almost against my will.
I tell you this so that you can understand what a major milestone it was when I hiked up a mountain a few days ago without anxiety. (I did use some anti-anxiety medication, but the idea is to get enough good experiences without anxiety so that I can eventually exercise at will without panic attacks and without medication.) I was surprised to find that although it was challenging (after all, exercise anxiety generally means you're out of shape), it was no big deal. It's great to realize that I actually can climb mountains. Woohoo!
Monday, October 31, 2011
I Like Precision and Exactness
I rarely comment on things on Facebook, but often I am almost driven to when I see a glaringly and obviously false statement. And then it drives me insane when people dispute what I say and immediately dismiss it, when I'm pretty sure I'm right. Topics this week that have driven me insane include the false belief that doctors are often and regularly bribed by drug companies, and the regulation (or lack thereof) of alternative medicine.
I suppose seeing glaringly obvious faults in logic shouldn't drive me so insane when other people's ignorance doesn't really affect me. And I suppose that I'm wrong at times. ... Only I'm not wrong very often, and I feel that when presented with compelling evidence, I let go of my previous assumptions and embrace the truth. Maybe what actually bothers me is the widespread resistance to truth. It seems that for many, the more evidence is presented against their viewpoint, the more stubborn and angry they get. Sigh.
So I'm left wondering if it's better for me to just completely ignore blatantly obvious falsehoods, because it doesn't seem to do anything good. Firstly, it aggravates me and keeps me up at night knowing how many dumb people there are convincing other people that falsehoods are true. Secondly, my arguments seem to make people believe their false assumptions even more, no matter how logical, cool, and complete my evidence is. Maybe Calvin is right... knowledge is paralyzing in some ways. I'm not sure speaking up is ever worth it.
Friday, October 28, 2011
I Like Costumes
It occurred to me tonight that if we got a single classic infant costume, it could last us for 20 years. I'm imagining a wookiee baby... a Starfleet officer baby... a Batman baby... man. And it would totally still be cool (for a nerd family, anyway) in 20 years too.
I haven't been posting as much as I did last month. This isn't because I forgot. Rather, I just decided not to. I'm pretty stressed out. And I feel like I've confessed the whole of it. Basically, it'd be like, "Hey. Nothing new! The end."
I went to the doctor today about my thyroid. I learned some more stuff about it. On Monday I have physical therapy and another doctor's appointment. Aaaand another one on Tuesday. Aaaand another physical therapy on Thursday. Sigh. I'm already having nightmares about the bills, but that's okay. The goal here is to get a baseline healthiness that I can maintain (with some daily routine of physical therapy exercises, thyroid hormone, and maybe some other things) so that when I'm old I'm awesome(r). So I'm grateful that I do have the money to do this.
I haven't been posting as much as I did last month. This isn't because I forgot. Rather, I just decided not to. I'm pretty stressed out. And I feel like I've confessed the whole of it. Basically, it'd be like, "Hey. Nothing new! The end."
I went to the doctor today about my thyroid. I learned some more stuff about it. On Monday I have physical therapy and another doctor's appointment. Aaaand another one on Tuesday. Aaaand another physical therapy on Thursday. Sigh. I'm already having nightmares about the bills, but that's okay. The goal here is to get a baseline healthiness that I can maintain (with some daily routine of physical therapy exercises, thyroid hormone, and maybe some other things) so that when I'm old I'm awesome(r). So I'm grateful that I do have the money to do this.
Friday, October 21, 2011
I Like My Job
I like my job. I don't like that nobody knows what it is I do. I say, "I'm a medical scribe!" ... And then they respond, "Oh, you mean a transcriptionist?" ... No, that's not actually it. I'm a scribe.
Here's the difference.
Transcriptionist: The physician makes a recording of their chart note, a.k.a dictation. He or she sends the dictation to the transcriptionist, who types it up verbatim and inserts it into the chart note. The physician reviews it and signs it. This can take days, or, in a worst case scenario, weeks.
Scribe: The scribe follows the physician into the patient appointment. The scribe types up the chart note during the visit, and the doctor interacts with the patient instead of a computer screen. The scribe summarizes the patient's complaints and the doctor's assessment and plan... fills out the 10 million drop-down boxes and fill-in-the-blanks. The chart note, ideally, is done by the time the patient visit is over. The physician looks over the chart note and makes changes or additions as needed, and then signs it.
So yeah. Much different.
People haven't heard of it because it's a new thing... and there aren't very many scribes in existence. Dr. Austin and Sue loooove it. I pretty sure they break into a sweat just remembering life before scribes... Anyway, they think medical scribing will become a booming industry, but I sometimes wonder.
Typically, scribes are aspiring medical students in between undergrad and med school who want experience in the medical field. In other words, people who don't know squat about medicinal terminology, charting, coding, billing... So it's a steep learning curve. Thankfully, I work in a pretty specialized office (woo reproductive endocrinologyyyy), so I didn't have to learn all about the cardiac system or the respiratory system or the nervous system... all on the first day. And I just can't imagine the first day scribing for a family practice doctor, as they encounter every problem and disease under the sun.
So not everyone is cut out for a job like this. We're not sure who is, actually. Dr. Austin has hired four so far... my predecessor, me, ex-scribe, and other current scribe. Ex-scribe was not so good at it and never got any better. Other current scribe wasn't a natural, but is getting tons better and is learning.
So yeah. I have a pretty unique job. And I wonder how likely it is that once James and I move away from Eugene, how likely it is it would be possible to find another job like this if I had to. At the very least, I could maybe try medical transcription... ;)
P.S. Here is an article about medical scribes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)