I went to the doctor today, and I came home kind of frustrated. (This isn't a very happy note.) I got two referrals... one to a psychiatrist and one to an endocrinologist. Ugh. I wanted to see the doctor and be done, not to have to schedule three more appointments. :(
I wasn't expecting the referral to a psychiatrist because I feel pretty stable. Sure, I'm sad and I cry for no reason all the time, but that's okay. I feel pretty well adjusted considering my extensive family history of depression and anxiety and all sorts of other fun stuff. And the last person I saw in psychiatry was not very good at her job. Insert dismay here.
However, precisely because I had so much of a family history of mental illness, my doctor thought it would be better to see a specialist who knows more about the pathophysiology of depression and about the newer medicines. Ga'augh, fine. She figured that we might be "barking up the wrong tree". So okay, whatever.
I saw a nurse practitioner in psychiatry four years ago, and she was awful... at least for me. She told me to take 1/4 pill (for sleep, I think) for two days, then 1/2 pill for another two days and work up to a full pill. So here's what I did:
Day 1: 1/4 pill. 3/4 pill pieces left.
Day 2: 1/4 pill. 1/2 pill piece left.
Day 3: 1/2 pill.
Day 4: 1/2 pill. 1/2 pill piece left.
Day 5: 3/4 pill. 3/4 pill pieces left.
Day 6: 3/4 pill.
Day 7: Whole pill! And no pieces of pills remaining! Tada!
Well, it turned out that this NP thought this was HILARIOUS. Apparently, I was supposed to take 1/4 pill for two days, 1/2 pill for another two days, and then start onto a full pill. I had considered this, but this was an exponential curve rather than a linear one... and besides, it left me half a pill left over.
But no. This woman decided that taking 3/4 pill for two days was pathological and indicated that I didn't want to be like my mom. I told her that I thought I had been following her directions to work up to a full pill gradually, and that this had nothing to do with my mother. She would hear no reason, and insisted that I was in denial. I stopped seeing her.
So... I hope this time will go a little better, but it gave me a bad taste in my mouth for people practicing medicine in psychiatry.
On the endocrinology note, I got frustrated because I got the impression that this doctor thought I was using my thyroid medicine as a diet pill because I was changing the dose on my own. (People who have too much thyroid hormone lose weight. However, it's the worst diet pill EVER because it also gives you hot flashes, diarrhea, anxiety, heart palpitations, and insomnia.) She insisted that I shouldn't take more thyroid hormone without lab work proving I'm hypothyroid.
I just have to wonder if she's ever BEEN hypothyroid. It sucks. I also have to wonder if she's ever been HYPERthyroid. If she had, I'm pretty sure she could not imagine taking too much thyroid hormone on purpose. Who wants hot flashes, diarrhea, anxiety, heart palpitations, and insomnia? Right. Like I would EVER do that to myself on purpose. (I do realize some people ARE crazy enough to do that, but they are in the minority. Hyperthyroidism is one of the WORST feelings in the world.)
Ugh. So anyway, this was not a happy, fluffy post, but I'm a little frustrated because I'm getting more and more distrustful of my health care providers. Sure, it's great fun to learn about diseases and treatments and stuff, but it sure makes seeing doctors less fun.
So for happy, fluffy things? I lurve my husband very much so. He is wonderful. :) See? Isn't he good looking? ;)
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