Our ward choir sang today. It was about 2-3 times as big during the performance as it was during the practices. Sigh.
Two people today asked where I served my mission. ... ??? Do I seem like a returned missionary to you?
So remember when I asked for prayers? I'm having a hard time. I'm ready to tell you (friends and strangers alike) what's going on. My mother was in the mental hospital a few weeks ago. She's not all better yet. My sister is kind of having a hard time too. My dad is having a hard time coping with this all. And my other sister doesn't talk to me, but my guess is that she is also struggling, at least a little bit.
As far as my mental health goes... I've been deteriorating. And let's be honest... it's not all that surprising. If you consider my extensive family history of depression and anxiety along with the following list of major life-changing events that have happened in the last 6 months.
1. Graduated from college!
2. Went through the temple!
3. Got married!
4. Moved to Oregon!
5. Started a new job!
6. Mom goes to mental hospital... D:
And there are, of course, more. Most of these are good things, but they are still stressful.
If you've heard of the Holmes-Rahe Scale, let me tell you something. It's basically a scale of how stressed you are. It is graded as follows:
A score of 0-149: no significant problem
150-199: mild stress, associated with 35% chance of illness
200-299: moderate stress, associated with 50% chance of illness
300+: major stress, associated with 80% chance of illness
So um... with that in mind, are you ready for my score? I'm not sure you are. But here you go... 519. Yup. My stress level is OFF THE CHARTS! Holy bovine! And considering that, I'd like to say I'm coping quite well, thank you.
So yes. I am stressed out of my mind. Please pray for me. Please also pray for my parents and sisters as they need it as well.
Jenna, I'm so sorry about everything that's happening. I completely understand the whole mental illness thing. I've been there and will probably have to keep it in check for the rest of my life. I know you can do it. And it doesn't surprise me people think you're a returned missionary because you are so loving and caring and AWESOME!!! Love you! :)
ReplyDeleteObviously they think that you are so mature that you had to have served a mission.
ReplyDeleteJenna! I love you! You will definitely be in my prayers- along with your whole family. It's hard to understanding why God picks THOSE challenges that He gives us, but just like President Monson said, "It's better to look up!" Keep your chin up! I love you!
ReplyDelete